Lately, I have watched too many radio shows, listened to a lot of newspapers and internet buzz, read quite a number of television updates, and Googled chit-chats from the pantry. Wait, it’s complicated right there. Anyways, here are some of the recent not a-little-bit true but a-lot-more twisted headlines, news bits, and what not of today’s maiden issue of The Twisted Times!
‘Only in the Philippines’ News
The stubborn Dick has entered the Senate top 12 based on the latest partial and unofficial tally. If that’s the case, the former MTRCB-chair, Grace POE can no longer censor this for sure.
In other parts of the country, relatives and family members rival each other to maintain their family names/clan in politics. In Siquijor, the one brave soul who wanted to kill the area’s political dynasty didn’t come out alive.
Two contenders for mayoral race in Oriental Mindoro has resulted to a coin toss after they tied on votes. The candidate who chose the “TAIL” is now the HEAD of their town.
The youngest governor who won over his 77-year old grandfather in CamSur is believed to be the favorite grandson. He honors his grandfather so he heeds for the elder governor’s advise still on how to lead the province.
Nancy Binay has worked for her father for almost 20 years. Her seemingly poker face and that “OJT propaganda” has indeed worked for her to secure a seat in the Senate on this 2013 mid-term Philippine elections.
Nancy Binay wishes Rissa Hontiveros to win so they could debate in the Senate. She’s eager to know if the scarf worn by the latter is really necessary on this scorching hot weather of the country.
‘In other parts of the WORLD’ News
Brad Pitt was ‘quite emotional’ about fiancée Angelina Jolie’s mastectomy experience. Now he’s thinking of coming back to his ex-wife’s “barely there” than his current’s “nothing there”.
Amanda Berry, Gina De Jesus and Michelle Knight have been lured for a ride by their captor for almost a decade. They have not returned since because the man who held them captive has never offered a ride home.
Hollywood star Vin Diesel was spotted in Manila. The “Fast and the Furious” star wasn’t that fast this time ’cause he was seen walking.
Taiwan is out on rage over the death of its national by the Philippine Navy. If Ms Japan won in Japan, Ms China won in China, and Ms USA won in USA; this time, the Tai Wan!
After Omar Borkan Al Gala’s instant fame as one of the three ousted guests in Saudi for being too handsome, Angel Ahmed from Iraq wishes to outplay the most beautiful Emirati. I can’t really CONFIRM if he’s beautiful or she’s handsome while looking at that mole in the face.
Beyonce has cancelled her Antwerp concert. She’s out looking for an appropriate thing to don a perfect bump to make it look ‘authentic’ this time.
New rumors hound Charice after she was surrounded by issues of rapid “makeovers“. This time, netizens wonder if the international sensation has eloped. I don’t really care!
…because it’s just for PUN, pure Fun!